I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
