theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
