But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
