"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
