YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
