I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
