i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
