this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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