OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
