Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize