If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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