And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
