I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
