it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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