Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize