Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
