I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
