He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
