Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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