Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
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