Whod you bang
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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