The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
