The maid of honor just puked.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
