so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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