He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
