im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
her facebook's as public as her vagina
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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