When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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