Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
