i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
