Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
