How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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