she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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