Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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