I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize