Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
