i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
lol hangovers are for mortals.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
