Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize