so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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