Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize