butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We got so high we made milksteak
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
