If i come over, it means nothing
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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