i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
