Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
