This girl is more easily done than said...
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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