we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize