Do you still have your period?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
