Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
