Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
