If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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