Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love having hate sex.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
