remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
