we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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