It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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