ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
