did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize