Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
