I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
