I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
