You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
