the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
